I found the below post today (from October of last year) when coming in here to write something new. I don’t think I ever published it, but find it appropriate after discussing why I won’t be renewing my eHarmony subscription in counseling today. It’s been a weird year with online dating. A few good conversations surrounded by a lot of ‘no response’ or ‘not interested’ or ‘you’re a weirdo who thinks a picture of his knuckle hair is attractive.’ So although the below thoughts are old, I think they might still be a helpful to think about.
I’ve been thinking a lot about me lately. Wow, that sounds self-centered, doesn’t it? Last month I decided to take control of one of those sticky areas of my life (my singleness) and put myself up on one of those sites. So I had to fill out a giant profile all about me. My marketing plan if you will. That’s what it feels like. Marketing myself to all the available men to check and see if they’re interested. I can make online dating sound delightful, can’t I?
But anyway, questions like “what are you most passionate about” and “what do you do with your leisure time” really make me ponder and think about how I spend my time and if it’s worth sharing. So many of the men are just “passionate about living their life to the fullest every moment of every day.” I think that’s a cop-out answer, I mean, maybe some people are passionate about that – but most people don’t actually live that way.
But back to me (remember self-centered post), what am I passionate about? Is it worth sharing? Is it dorky? Am I okay with that? Will someone else ‘get me’ from that less than 500 character analysis of what I’m passionate about? Am I putting too much emphasis on an intro paragraph to my online dating profile?
Am I putting too much emphasis on the guy’s? Maybe – but what do I really have to go off of aside from the two weird pics he put up, knowing his most passionate about ‘living life to the fullest every moment,’ and he spends his leisure time with sports.
But anyway, back to me (once again). What am I comfortable sharing about me? Am I comfortable saying “no, I’m not a big sports fan, it’s okay that you are, but I’m just not – that won’t be our thing.” Because that’s the truth. I’ll do things that you like with you but that’s not because I’m a huge fan of sports, it’s because I’m a huge fan of you.
Current me back again. I still think the “passionate about living life to the fullest” guys are odd. I mean, is that your one. true. passion in life?
All that work on my intro paragraph and I’m not sure it did anything all year. A few guys ‘smiled’ at me, some engaged in conversation, a few called me on the phone, one video chatted a few times before I said “you know, I’m not really interested.” Overall, I’m a little glad I did it – but also I’m happy to not have this app and subscription in my life for another year.
Am I scared I won’t have a “marketing tool” for my single self out there in the world? Maybe a little, but the Lord can do whatever He wants, so I’m asking Him to use a different tool that I’m calling “meeting a person in real life.”